By Richard Stubbs · September 18, 2026
It was usually the children in Ashford who had tales of mischief to share — but on this particular morning, the chaos belonged entirely to Waterfall Kennels and Cattery. Granddad Richard was in the middle of preparing the morning meals when he heard a tremendous commotion coming from the main feline enclosure. He rushed down the corridor, half expecting to find a stray dog that had somehow breached the perimeter.
Instead of a stray dog, Richard found Captain — his African Grey parrot — perched triumphantly on top of the highest scratching post in the cattery.
Captain had always been a clever bird, but today he had truly outdone himself. He had managed to unlatch his enclosure with his beak, fluttered down the hall, and decided it was time to take charge of the cattery.
"Attention! Fall in! Quick march!"
Captain squawked in a raspy, booming voice that sounded suspiciously like a drill sergeant. Below him, half a dozen pedigree Persian and Siamese cats sat in a bewildered semicircle, their tails twitching nervously.
Every time one of the cats tried to slink away, Captain would let out a piercing whistle followed by his signature challenge: "Halt! Who goes there?"
Six bewildered pedigree cats sat in a semicircle beneath the parrot's perch, tails twitching nervously, entirely unsure what to make of their feathered commander.
Richard could hardly contain his laughter as he watched the unlikely scene unfold before him in the middle of an otherwise ordinary morning.
Gently and still chuckling, Granddad Richard coaxed the feathery dictator onto his wrist and returned him to his enclosure — this time securing the latch with a brand new padlock.
Just as Richard sat down — still chuckling to himself — the tablet on his desk chimed. It was Tyler and Jordyn, calling from 7 Stichwort Lane.
"Morning, Granddad! Are you having a quiet day? Jack and Joey are fast asleep, and Barnaby the rabbit is behaving beautifully."
Jordyn beamed through the screen, blissfully unaware of the morning's dramatic events.
Jack and Joey fast asleep. Barnaby the rabbit behaving beautifully. A picture of calm and quiet domesticity.
Captain staging a full military takeover of the cattery. Six bewildered cats. One very amused Granddad Richard.
Granddad Richard turned the tablet camera so the children could see Captain, who was pacing his perch and grumbling under his breath — clearly displeased that his brief reign of command had come to an end quite so swiftly.
Captain unlatched his own enclosure using nothing but his beak — a feat of avian ingenuity that left everyone astonished.
Six pedigree cats brought to order by one very determined African Grey parrot with a drill sergeant's vocabulary.
A brand new padlock, a laughing Granddad, and a grumbling Captain — the only fitting end to a morning of glorious chaos.
Captain Takes Command